Considering children in COVID-19 Thanksgiving plans

Implications

Extended family – grandparents, cousins, and other relatives – help children connect with their own history and understand their place in the world. In many families, holidays are key occasions where extended family carry on traditions that have been passed down for generations. However, COVID-19 is a major impediment to family connections, with half of parents saying that it has substantially decreased the time children spend with extended family. As Thanksgiving approaches, this Mott Poll demonstrates that many families are struggling with whether and how to continue their holiday traditions.

In thinking about their Thanksgiving plans, parents appear to be balancing risks and benefits of having a traditional celebration. The major concern is the pandemic, as three-quarters of parents felt it is very important to prevent the spread of COVID-19; this is likely a priority because 9 in 10 parents reported that their Thanksgiving gatherings typically include grandparents or other older adults. Yet over half of parents indicated it was very important for their child to be with extended family and share in Thanksgiving traditions.

A key strategy to minimize the risk of COVID-19 transmission will be choosing carefully who to include in Thanksgiving celebrations. Nearly all parents plan to exclude family members who have been exposed to or are reporting symptoms of COVID-19; many also plan to exclude family members who have not been following recommended precautions, such as wearing masks, social distancing, and avoiding social gatherings. In assessing the likelihood of COVID-19 exposures, parents should be sure to ask whether cousins or other school-age family members are attending in-person classes and activities and, if so, the extent to which COVID-19 precautions are followed consistently. This may be uncomfortable for families to negotiate, especially if some family members are quarrelsome about this topic.

Most parents in this Mott Poll indicated that they will limit contact between children and grandparents and other high-risk adults. However, it may be difficult to maintain these types of precautions throughout a multi-day visit or even during a gathering that includes a lengthy dinner. Therefore, parents should think carefully about whether to gather in person with high-risk family members.

In this unique situation, children may be better served if parents are thoughtful about how to preserve family traditions without an in-person gathering. Parents may want to talk with children about their favorite Thanksgiving foods, decorations or activities, and then use that input to plan a virtual celebration that includes family members in different locations. If children mention a particular holiday decoration displayed by grandparents, parents can encourage them to create their own version at home. If children favor an aunt’s pumpkin pie, parents can have children try their hand at making it, with age-appropriate assistance. Phone or video calls with grandparents and other family members can help the include them in the process. Parents may want to arrange a group call or virtual gathering at a specific time for extended family to share stories or to have a family member give a blessing before Thanksgiving dinner. The key for parents is to focus on elements of the celebration that represent family traditions or that seem most important to children.

In families that choose to celebrate with extended family or other guests, parents should talk with children in advance about how to celebrate safely, including a reminder about masks and social distancing, along with a request for “voice etiquette” by limiting singing or yelling, as these actions can more easily spread viruses. Parents also should plan for children to engage in outdoor activities for as much of the day as possible. With COVID-19 cases increasing in every state, it is essential that all family members do their part to prevent further spread.