Sharing on parenting: Getting advice through social media

Implications

For first-time parents, the infant and toddler years bring joy and excitement as well as a myriad of decisions about how best to take care of their child. Parents with older children have the benefit of experience but may encounter new challenges because each child has their own personality and temperament. This Mott Poll confirms that most mothers and over two-thirds of fathers use social media to discuss challenges and ask for advice on parenting their child 0-4 years. This represents a sizeable increase since the Mott Poll last explored this topic in 2015.

Common topics of discussion on social media include a child’s daily routine of sleeping and eating, key milestones like toilet training and adjusting to daycare or preschool, and longer-term challenges like discipline. Often there isn’t a clear “best” way to do things; many parents use a trial-and-error approach to find what works for their child. This is consistent with poll results that the biggest reason parents turn to social media is to get ideas and strategies to try.

The convenience of social media allows parents to seek information or ask for advice as soon as a new parenting challenge arises; they don’t need to wait for the child’s next check-up or visit with grandparents or other experienced relatives. Social media can be particularly helpful for parents who don’t have regular contact with family or friends who are experienced with child-rearing and can offer tips for parenting challenges. In contrast, 1 in 4 parents in this Mott Poll said they sought advice on social media specifically because they want to do things differently than what their own parents did.    

Parents acknowledge concerns about sharing too much about their children on social media. Most common are problems of annoyance, such as a parent bragging or posting too often. Other concerns pertain to privacy, such as postings that reveal personal information about the child or family. One aspect to consider is whether the child may one day be embarrassed about having personal information shared without their consent. Parents should also consult with parents of other children in photos for approval before sharing them on social media.

Oversharing may encompass things like revealing when the family home may be unattended such as during a family vacation, or even creating a risk of identity theft. While some parents use privacy settings or limit their postings to closed groups to limit the risk of information getting out, this Mott Poll shows that others may want to increase their use of privacy settings and other strategies to limit the amount of personal information in their postings.

An emerging concern is parents sharing information that is false or fake, whether knowingly or unknowingly. In this poll, 4 in 10 parents indicated it can be difficult to distinguish good vs bad advice on social media. It’s important that parents can identify reputable sources of information about child health and parenting, and that they consult those sources before attempting new strategies with their own child.

One in ten parents of young children who use social media rated it as very useful in deciding when to take their child to the doctor. However, with young children, it is usually prudent to contact the child’s primary care provider with any questions. Telehealth visits and messaging through patient portals are efficient ways for parents to ask for guidance; this allows the provider to help determine if the child needs to be seen in person. Additionally, parents should keep a list of questions and topics to ask about during well-child visits.